I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
cat food counts as protein by the way
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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