I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
