They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
