Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
