your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
