before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sex in a hospital.. check
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
