CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
