Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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