The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
