he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
