Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
