# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Boobs are out for the taking
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
