I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
