my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
