I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am in a vortex of obligation.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
