ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
