i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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