I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
