So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
