Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
