To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
