do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
