both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
