Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
