Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
