doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
