Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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