I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
