ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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