i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
