So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
