I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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