tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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