I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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