With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
