just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
