it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
