You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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