I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
