Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
