If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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