He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
