i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think i have herpe
just one?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
