my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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