Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
