she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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