I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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