I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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