she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
