But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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